Case Studies
Hear the experiences from our families
Chloe (Winnie’s mum)
Winnie was born at 37+2 weeks after being told two days before that she had no heartbeat. We have no reason as to why she died. If we choose to only look at the positives, this means that we had time to plan her outfits, special stories that we wanted to read and any other memories that we wanted to make with her.
During those two days, my mum found out about Remember My Baby while looking for things online. She gave us the information for us to do with as we wished. We didn't know what we would like to do, if anything. About an hour after Winnie was born, my husband asked if I wanted him to call Remember My Baby. We didn't know how it worked, so we thought that they would perhaps send someone the next day. We were very wrong!
Remember My Baby volunteer, Anton Rawlinson, arrived around an hour after Jamie made the phone call. I was still in a mess after labour and Winnie hadn't been cleaned or dressed. Anton was happy to wait for us, but what he did during that time was so lovely. He got photos of Winnie being weighed - something that I can't remember witnessing due to the enormity of everything that was going on - and even got photos of us and the midwives with Winnie as we were cleaning and dressing her for the first time. He was very particular about how he thought the photos should be, while still being sensitive to our needs and wants.
I had crocheted a brown and orange blanket for Winnie, and I wanted her to be photographed with that instead of the one that was provided by the hospital. We laid her in the Moses basket on top of the blanket ready for her photos.
Those photos are some of our favourites from Anton's session. After he had finished, he asked if there were any particular photos that we wanted him to take that hadn't already been done. He did those too. He stayed with us for a while, chatting away over tea and biscuits while remaining sensitive to the situation. It helped us to feel a bit more normal. It was beautiful.
Sophie
We were ready for our baby girl to make her entry, the hospital bags were packed, the baby formula was in the cupboard and the next to me crib had nice clean sheets - at 37+5 weeks we knew she could come any time from now. We did not expect her to be sleeping when she arrived though. We had been trying for a baby for over a year and when we finally saw the double lines on the pregnant stick we were shocked! It was a smooth pregnancy so far, lots of sickness and heartburn but completely healthy, we were even told she would be a big girlie at our scans. We created a nursery, had a baby shower and had so many plans.
This all changed on a Friday, I had terrible stomach pains in the night and then hadn’t felt her all day, went into the hospital for reduced movements that night to be told the phrase that any pregnant woman has nightmares of. Her heart had stopped beating, In that moment I felt like mine was going to as well, I cried and cried - it was a pain like no other. I went into labour with contractions 5 minutes apart on Sunday (whilst eating dominos) after a very emotional weekend. We rushed to the hospital where I had a relatively short labour, I was too far dilated for some pain relief, and I hated the gas and air so pushed that away. I was crying throughout; it was devastating knowing we wouldn’t hear her cry when she got here and what should be so joyous was just sadness.
I was 38 weeks exactly and Jasmine Rose was born at 7:25 PM on 28th January 2024, she weighed 6lb 9oz and just looked like she was sleeping peacefully.
We’d previously said we didn’t want to see her but actually changed our mind the day before in fear that we would regret it and with further information from our midwife (who was amazing). I’m so thankful we changed our minds because we had two days at the hospital with our little girl. We got to hold her, have skin-to-skin, talk to her, have memories and keepsakes of her. We now have so many beautiful photos of her to remember her by, she’s the most beautiful baby, her button nose, pretty fingernails and big feet that just about fit in the baby grow are all things we wouldn’t know or be able to talk about if we hadn’t. Leaving her in that hospital when it was time to go was the hardest thing I ever had to do, I’d go through labour a million times over rather than face that pain again. I wanted to scoop her up, take her home in her car seat and keep her forever but obviously, I couldn’t do that - instead, we left with a box full of memories and a hole in our hearts forever.
I am so proud of the little person we created though, whenever I see a jasmine plant or a rose I admire the beauty of them, the time they took to grow and bloom and think of my daughter. She’ll always be our perfect little flower!
Our photographer Tessa was so wonderful, kind and respectful with Jasmine, I’m so glad she took these photos.
Thank you for photographing these memories of our beautiful little girl, we’ve been so excited for these photos to arrive and they were everything we could have hoped for. Thank you for helping to keep her memory alive.
Dawnlouise
Our beautiful baby girl was born sleeping at 38 weeks in Dundee, Scotland. It was unexpected and to say we were devastated is an understatement. We had no idea what to expect or what to do. The lovely midwives at the Tulip suite (a dedicated labour suite at Ninewells Hospital for babyloss) told us about Remember My Baby and arranged for a photographer to come out the next day.
At the time I didn't think much of it...photographs were the last thing on my mind...I just wanted my baby alive and well. However, I am so utterly thankful I have these photographs. They are so precious to us and keep Rae's memory alive every single day. The lady who came was so loving, caring and respectful and put us both at ease. She asked questions about Rae and commented on her beautiful hair and cute Jemima puddle duck babygro. She made her feel so real and like she mattered...even though she had passed away. I have these photos all around my house, I look at them every single day. They are beautiful and we are so thankful to RMB for the precious gift of memories and love they have given us.
Rachael
The night we found out Henry had died we were given a huge amount of information, including ideas of how we may want to spend the time we had once he was born.
One of these ideas was to ask a charity called Remember My Baby to come and take photographs of us and Henry.
During the 48 hours we had to wait to deliver Henry we spoke lots about how we would spend our time and we were certain we would like these photographs. We both said even if we didn’t want them at that moment we would have them, knowing that in time we would be very grateful and knowing that if we didn’t and later wanted them it would be too late.
However, when it came to it, inviting a stranger felt like an incredibly scary thing to do. This person didn’t know us, didn’t know Henry and I was worried it was the wrong thing. We were quite overwhelmed by the thought of any visitors, let alone a complete stranger.
We decided to go for it and the hospital called the charity for us. I worried they wouldn’t get a volunteer, especially with it being in between Christmas and New Year, when let’s face it, everyone is busy with something or else just reclining on the sofa not wanting to do anything. Very quickly we were told a lady would be with us that evening.
Within seconds of our volunteer's arrival we felt we had made the right decision. Corinne was the most gentle and kind hearted lady. She greeted Henry with such warmth and greeted us with immense compassion. She was so careful with how she handled Henry and made sure to capture all the smallest details; his tiny hands, his delicate fingernails, his not so little feet and his fair hair. She took photos of us holding Henry and just existed in the moment with us.
When we were happily expecting Henry I had booked a newborn shoot. I had only one photo that I really wanted and would have left the rest to our wonderful wedding photographer. The photo I wanted was of my baby with my London Marathon medal. To me that medal is one of only two physical things that shows our first baby’s existence as I ran the marathon for them. The photo, under happier circumstances, would have been our opening to tell Henry all about his big brother or sister in the stars. When he asked why (as all kids do!) he was holding a medal, we would have told him. We obviously don’t need the photo for that purpose anymore, but I still felt a need to have it. A photo of both our babies together in the only way we could.
We received the photos just over 5 weeks later and they are the most beautiful memories to treasure. The attention to detail can really be seen and we are so, so grateful to have these memories captured.
My only regret is not saving a few. I knew once I had looked at these that I’d have seen all of Henry I would ever see. I wish I’d have saved a few to look at later, but then how could I ever have been ready to look?
Corinne was part of our short time with Henry, part of our journey as new parents and part of our boys story. Allowing anyone to see your baby so soon as a newborn, even in happier circumstances is a huge deal but in these circumstances is something I cannot even describe. To trust someone with your baby and your too short time with them, to trust someone to experience your heartbreak and your vulnerability is nothing short of terrifyingly beautiful. And we had no need to worry.
Corinne even managed to make our hearts swell weeks later. We sent her a bunch of flowers. She deserved the world so it seemed a tiny token. The flowers contained rosemary for remembrance. She texted us to let us know she had rooted the rosemary and would plant it in her herb garden and think of Henry whenever she looked at it. It’s all bereaved parents can ask, that people remember their child. And this simple message won’t ever be forgotten.
We held a small personal funeral for Henry and purchased pin badges for everyone who attended and a few others. The team got our order out in record time and we are so, so thankful that they helped us honour our little boy. I wear my pin badge all the time and I hope one day someone asks what it’s for so I can tell them all about this charity’s amazing work.
Corinne, and indeed all the volunteers, photographers and admin team at RMB, you are all angels on earth. The gift you provided us, and provide to all bereaved parents, both through photographs and by being part of our story will never be forgotten. We cannot thank you enough.
